it's so disappointing when something you thought was going to be awesome turns out to be the complete opposite of awesome and then some....ugh.

oh my god....i loathe my new job. it makes me want to stab myself in the leg with a letter opener, no really, i probably think about doing that like 5 times a day...but it's just wishful thinking, i wouldn't actually harm myself over something i give so little of a shit about. this job is sucking out my soul slowly. gaaaaaaah. ok i should go work now :(

busybee

hmmmm...so what's new....well, kial and cory left for their hiking/off-roading trip to big bend natl park on wed. i havent really had a chance to talk to them at all so that sucks bc i don't even know if they got there ok, last i heard they'd kinda had a couple of shitty experiences on the way there. cory got a speeding ticket and they got pulled over and searched by the border patrol, so that sucks.
i got a pedicure yesterday, i havent gotten one in a really really long time so it was really nice and relaxing and a nice treat to myself.
oooooh, like two weeks ago about, i got a freshwater aquarium! it's awesome and i love it :D i have 7 neon tetras in it; cody named them after the 7 dwarves, i had gotten 6 originally and that was it but i decided to get another one since they like to school in odd numbers anyway (who knew?), i also have 3 zebra danios which are really cute and playful and like to chase each other around the tank, and an albino cory catfish which is really weird and awesome looking and very active around the tank too. i've spent lots of time just watching them and just letting my mind wonder, it's very relaxing and meditative :)
and then of course, there is work....
i have been working pretty much every day for the past month and a half or so. work is good, a little boring, but i'm getting used to the routine and it's getting easier everyday so it's not bad at all. i'm so tired all the time though :/ i think i'm going to quit starbucks soon though, i need at least a day off during the week. i don't have time to work on any of my projects or anything anymore :( so i am def. not going to be at sbux for very long.
so right now i have a few things i'm working on or want to start working on:
1. Kaidance's owl blanket that i was making her for her birthday but didn't get to finish.
2. i bought some furniture for super cheap at a garage sale; a wood table and mirror set ($15), 2 barstools ($6 each), and a big black coffe table ($20). I'm gonna have to invest in a sander bc i'm going to refinish or paint or something all of them. plus this other random table thing my neighbors were throwing out.
3. My dad found these two pieces of wood that are round and about the size of my kitchen table top, so i think im going to tile them and make bases for them. i have a few cool ideas, but some don't really seem workable yet.
4. i want to get a duvet cover and paint some kind of cool design on it. the comforter we have now is not cute at all, just a random one my mom gave me. oh and me and kial are going to build some kind of cool wooden headboard and frame for our bed! that should be fun :D
5. i'm decorating a paper lantern with some wax paper petals, something i saw on some website. theoretically, the end result should look really cool but i just got started (a few weeks ago) and haven't done much at all with it so im not sure how it's going to turn out yet, it's just time consuming so i haven't had a chance to really work on it.
6. i need to get more plants for the 4 really cute planters i got. i put the extra lavender plants i'd bought in one of them already and they look great.
7. either get or build a fountain (or possibly a statue) for that nook in the backyard. we wanna get a bench or something back there too, maybe some stepping stones up to it...i dunno. it'll be a magical little nook...hopefully, if we ever get the time to do it.
8. harvest and start drying some of my herbs.
9. i think if i find the time to, i'm going to make pasta sauce from scratch and use my fresh herbs and then store them in some cool glass jars and give some to my mom, my cousin, boss, whoever i think would like it.
10. i'm going to make the dogs dog beds...it might be a while, but i'm gonna make them super cute dog beds and bed covers...eventually.
11. plant the rest of my sunflowers. the poor things, the ones i planted from the first batch were doing great in the ground and the ones from the second batch looked great too...and then kial treated the yard for weeds and they probably got misted with some of that stuff and they kinda went downhill from there, but most of them survived and are perking up again so we'll see.
12. decorate my office!!! i ran into zac the artist guy (kirby's old roommate) at the bar a couple of weeks ago and i was telling him about my new job and stuff and basically i think im going to pay him to paint me something awesome and huge to put up in my office! :D but ill have to more seriously talk to him about it if it's ever gonna happen.
.....i think i had a few more things in mind but i can't think of them.
busybusybusyineedmorehoursintheday.

i felt inspired =]

so last night i think i was past delirious from lack of sleep and i just got really creative and motivated to draw out all these random ideas for things that i want to make or just different cool things to put up around the house. im about to go and get some fabric to make kaidance (my godchild) a blanket for her birthday (april 22nd, earth day!), her party is on saturday of next week and it's an owl themed party at the park so we're bringing the puppies so they can help their cousin celebrate her very first birthday!! i can't believe she's one already :( it really sucks that since i moved i havent been able to see her or be around her as much as i'd like :( but yeah, i'm making her a really cute fleece blanket and if im feeling motivated enough i'll sew on an owl from fabric pieces too, we shall see. so on my way out to go get that stuff, hopefully i can finish it tonight since i won't have time at all during the week.

sooo busy lately

so i got the accts pay/rec. job which is awesome. i've been training all week and so far so good. lots and lots and lots of stuff to remember but i think ill get it soon enough. im really excited to have a grown up job (kinda) lol. and i get an office which is pretty cool i think! i, of course, am going to decorate it and reorganize it as soon as the guy who's training me leaves. and then itll be even more awesome :D i've been there from 8am till around 7pm every night this week and only on a couple hours of sleep at night so its been a solely caffeine fueled week. i get to dress up for work, which is kind of a pain in the ass to think about at 630 in the morning, but ive been pretty much wearing nothing but pj;s and sbux work clothes for the past like 8 months or so, so it's actually kind of nice to have a legitimate reason to wear my cute clothes again. my herbs are for the most part doing really good, since i havent been home to really take care of them kials been watering them and stuff. my potted lavender looks a little sad and when i got home (earlyish for the first time this week!) and was looking at them i saw that my russian terragon and parsley have gnats...motherfuckers. those things are pretty fuckin persistent and hard to get completely rid of but ill have to try a few things when i get a chance. ALL of my sunflowers were doing amazing!!!!!!!!! even the trampled ones, they were all getting so big and leafy and their stems were getting thick and strong, and then.....kial treated our backyard for weeds bc the yard is pretty much carpeted in them, and we think the mist got to the sunflowers bc now they are pretty much all for the most part totally droopy and their leaves are curled up and they look terribly.....it's really sad :( i had this great picture in my head of all these sunflowers getting huge and blooming in my backyard and looking absolutely beautiful...and now they look completely terrible, i don't even know if they're gonna come back from this and i'm way too busy and tired to start growing new ones all over again. naet left for denver yesterday :( i'm definately going to miss him a lot, he was nicer and sweeter and more attentive and caring than pretty much anyone i've ever met...ever. it's ridiculous how the universe likes to fuck with ppl and put someone that wonderful in my life at the completely worst possibly time ever, but at the same time i guess you could look at it as a form of encouragement and something to look forward to when the time is right. as sad as i am that he's gone and as much as i'm going to miss him, i think being by myself for a WHILE will be soooooo good for me. i havent been single in like 4 years almost....jesus that's a long fucking time, i never would have believed me capable of being so stuck in love with someone for that long; but it's definately been an experience that i've learned a lot from and has made me appreciate some things more and put up with other shit less and even though it didnt work out how i wanted it to for a long time, i got a wonderful best friend out of it and two puppies im obsessed with and just lots of good things (and some bad, but im trying to learn and grow from those as well) that wouldnt have happened if i hadnt lived my life how i did, so no regrets! i just want to look forward from now on and do things that make me a happy, self-fulfilled person without needing anyone to do that for me. it's called SELF-fulfillment for a reason and i kind of forgot about that for a long time, but im finally getting back into a really good mind set and slowly getting back into being a person i want to be and like being, none of that needy, insecure bullshit! :P anyways, rant much? oooooh i've decided that since i'm going to be making a bunch more money at my new job (the one with my own office! lol) i'm going to have one big splurge/investment for myself and that is going to be a jeeeeeeeeeeeep! aaaah! i'm really excited, but i figured ill pay my parents the money ive owed them for forever pretty soon with this job and still working at sbux and all and ill have plenty of money left over after bills in stuff, which i plan on saving most of and not misusing (like in my younger, more naive, less responsible, no bills days), but i need a car anyways and i've always really really super wanted a jeep wrangler (like since i was 5 and my dad had a baby blue one!) and i could trade my car in and use that as a down payment and do like a 3 or 5 year payment plan and build credit and have an awesome car that ill love that will last me for a very long time if i take care of it (which i of course will, bc itll be my beautiful car that i've always really wanted!!!!!) etc...im not planning on getting a new one or anything crazy like that either so it's not like i'm spending a shit ton of money. i think ill spend about 9 thousand or so for a few years old one, and i think im shooting to make this happen somewhere near the end of june. i dunno, we'll see. but yea, very excited about that!!! mk peace.

i have the day off, so i will ATTEMPT to be productive

i finally planted my first batch of sunflowers in our yard, i really hope the dogs don't trample them :/ i should get some animal repellent for sure.

hmm...still haven't heard back about the job...it's 6pm. ugh. i think i'll take Luna and Skyy to the dogpark, that's definitely a happy place :D

*****************************************************
ok, so i just got back from the dogpark. the dogs had a blast! they always have so much fun there playing with the other dogs, running around, and swimming, and they burn a lot of energy which is great bc they'll come home and pass the hell out! and i gave them a bath after they were done playing so they won't be stinky anymore, yay! i got a call from nicole about the job, but unfortunately they still haven't decided who they're going to hire and they should be letting her know by sometime tomorrow, grrrrr. this waiting around is so fucking annoying, i can't plan shit bc i have no idea what i'll be doing next week and they're taking their sweet time, which is weird bc they are supposedly in a huge hurry to hire and train someone before the person that is in the position now leaves. whatever, it's not nicole's fault or anything, i know she wants to hire someone right away and preferably me, but she has to wait for corporate's ok since she's still new and stuff. i'm going to stay on othe productive train i've been on all day and hopefully knock out my entire to-do list for today; i just need to go through some boxes in my closet and put away some laundry and i will feel officially super accomplished for the day!.....that's a little sad :P

RedMaple

a quick side note, this tree is right on the corner of my street and everyday when i'd drive home for like a week and a half i'd just sit at the stop sign and look at it because it was just soooo beautiful (i just recently learned what kind of tree it is)! anyway, a friend had an extra tree sitting in a huge pot in his backyard so he gave it to kial to put in our front yard, and guess what, it's totally a red maple, the same kind of tree i fell in love with :D i just love when the universe does little things like that.

the red maple on the corner of my street: